Christmas is a very special period. It’s the time of the year when we deeply reflect on the greatest love story ever; God giving His only begotten Son to us to redeem us from the power of the devil, sin and death because of His huge love for us. At Love, Dating and Marriage because we love you so much, we deem it fit to share with you the profound truth that will help you enjoy your relationship and marriage this season and afterwards. Dive in, learn and be blessed! Merry Christmas and a Happy New year in advance!
Marriage is God’s plan for us and should be fully enjoyed. Today, a lot of marriages suffer simply because they are not built on the godly principles needed to make it work. At Love, Dating and Marriage we are constantly being reminded during our very interactive and insightful Sessions that a good marriage is possible. No matter how good you are, it takes two good people to do marriage right and as long as these two imperfect people agree to build their home with faith in God’s word, they will have the marriage of their dreams.
The following are Fundamental Relationship Secrets:
1) The word of God: In marriage, this is the final authority. It must never be debated but obeyed at all times. Taking the word out of marriage is likened to baking a cake without flour which obviously turns out becoming a wasted effort. Some marriages are borne out of wrong choices. Choices outside God’s word, such as getting married to an unbeliever despite being warned not to be unequally yoked. In such cases, one party usually pulls down the other spiritually sooner than expected. At other times, when couples fail to apply the word in their marriage it leads to disagreements that ordinarily could have been easily avoided in the first place. The word has the ability to save and direct especially when received with meekness of heart. God’s word is bigger and more powerful than we can imagine. It always comes with a blessing when applied consistently and so should not be taken with levity.
2) Vision: Marriage is a journey embarked on by two mature individuals. Everything about you is tied to who you marry. So there must be a reason why the two of you are getting married. On its own marriage functions as a ministry, where each partner has a clear picture of where they are both heading to. It entails knowing your specific roles, planning or setting goals together and helping each other achieve them.
3) Self esteem: This cannot be over emphasized. The Bible commands us to love our neighbour as ourselves. However if we do not love ourselves we cannot love others because it is impossible to give what you do not have. Before getting married, it’s important that you deal with whatever esteem issues you have. Failure to do so by the two parties involved would be disastrous, leading to suspicion, lies, insecurity, emotional and physical abuse etc. in marriage. Our security and satisfaction can only come from God since no human being is capable of meeting our entire needs.
4) Communication: One of the things that keep a relationship going is friendship. Therefore marry your friend. At every point in time, you must be able to talk with your spouse freely about everything and anything. Say what you mean without being mean. Talk about your fears, your dreams, and the things that get you upset. Never keep grudges or secrets from each other, pray together and try not to be easily offended. A lot of adulterous relationships could have been avoided if only spouses confided in each other. Listen to what your spouse is saying and most importantly listen to what he/she isn’t saying. Ask questions. Find out if he/she is happy or not. For those in courtship, it is a period for interview not intercourse. Discuss and agree on certain issues no matter how delicate they may seem. Issues like managing finances, handling in-laws, how many children to have, where to worship, etc must be decided before getting married.
5) Commitment: Having a great marriage would not just fall into your laps. It would only happen because you give it your best and are committed to making it work. Many have gotten married, hoping to sustain it by mere feelings, but the truth remains that it is hard work which requires commitment from both parties because it is a lifelong covenant entered into to serve, love and respect each other faithfully irrespective of how you feel.
Now you know what it takes to have a good marriage. So take charge and make it work. It is your turn to have the marriage of your dreams!!! See you soon!